We’re all familiar with maxxing - taking something you care about and optimising the hell out of it. But what if the thing we maxxed next was connection? Writes MAD//Fest event consultant, and Psychotherapist, Alison Fulker.

Entering our lexicon sometime in the mid-2010s, you’re probably aware of the term maxxing - honing a specific aspect of your life, often to an extreme degree. 

Maxxing seems to have initially taken off across incel groups with looks-maxxing - becoming the most attractive you can possibly be, with particular importance given to jawlines, physique and eyes (apparently the ideal is "hunter" eyes; eyes angled slightly upward toward the temples). Although, you could argue that The Fresh Prince brought it to popular culture back in the 90s when he was “Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool”? I digress.

Today, the -maxxing suffice can be attached to virtually anything to suggest a fervent dedication to getting the most out of something. Sleep-maxxing, gym-maxxing, money-maxxing, to name a few. A certain podcast host is synonymous with productivity-maxxing to the extent that he lamented a night out drinking for ruining his life for three days (two glasses of wine, btw). I’ll resist slipping into a rabbit-hole on that particular individual.

It seems that maxxing is a consequence of our broader optimisation-obsessed culture, a fixation fueled by our devices, the services we use that collect and analyse data generated by our day to day behaviours, and of course social media. I see it a lot in my therapy clinic and it takes people down a path of never feeling good enough. But I think there’s an opportunity to think about a certain type of maxxing we could all benefit from right now - connection-maxxing.

Last week I spent the day at an event in full on connection-maxxing mode. Caught up with some familiar faces and met a lot of new people. What struck me was how open people were to connecting and to helping others make connections too. “Oh, you should meet so-and-so; I think you could really help him out”. “What you said reminds me of my friend - you should meet her because I think you’d really get on”. A lot of it happened in the rooms there and it’s something I’ve noticed has really ramped up over the last couple of years.

Now, given my main bread and butter is content I probably shouldn’t say this, but perhaps the biggest value in getting off your ass and out to that event is the people you’ll meet. Not every connection is going to lead to new business or a partnership. Maybe that person will connect you with someone who then becomes a client, or maybe that person will just bring something new to your life - a new way of thinking or looking at the world, a book recommendation, a destination you should check out. Maybe that person will simply become a friend. 

So, as we enter the winter months, and there’s a pull to cosy up on the sofa in your WFH uniform (trakkie bums and that hoody with a stain so old you’ve forgotten how it got there - oh, just me?!), have a little word with yourself. Forget about all the other maxxings and see what you can do to max out on connections. Because whatever that connections leads to, I’m pretty sure there will be value.