Need vs Want: The Language of High Performance

Mid-September, and the shift is now well underway. Routines have reestablished, the inbox is full, and Q4 has arrived with its usual mix of urgency and expectation. For many leaders and marketers, this period brings familiar pressure to land results, close the year well, and prepare the ground for what comes next.

But even when things appear under control, the internal load can feel heavy. This season often carries an intensity that is less about pace and more about presence. It becomes harder to stay clear, calm, and connected, both to your role and to yourself.

A useful question to ask, especially now, is this: ‘Who is in your ear, the Angel or the Devil?’

Your internal voice is more than background noise. It signals the energy state you are operating from, and whether your motivation - and therefore leadership - is being driven by fear or by intention.

The Devil represents what I call ‘Away From Energy’. It is urgency driven and fear led. It can deliver fast results and look impressive from the outside, but often at the cost of clarity, wellbeing, and sustainable focus. You hear it in language like: I need to get back on top of things. I need to be more confident. I need to fix this before it becomes a problem.

Need is a clue. It signals pressure, not purpose. It often reflects a defensive posture rather than a deliberate one.

In my work with high performing leaders and senior teams, this is incredibly common. The Devil in the ear becomes the norm, the voice that says do more, work harder, never slow down. These are people who are often miles ahead in reality, but internally, they feel like they are still playing catch up. And while that mindset can produce results, it comes at a cost. Because when you operate in Away From Energy, you rarely feel your success. You do not experience it. It does not land.

This is why this question matters. Who is in your ear is not just a reflective check in. It is a way to challenge automatic thinking and shift from habitual pressure into conscious, focused leadership.

The Angel in your ear, in contrast, represents ‘Towards Energy’. This is where action is led by real self-belief, clarity, and commitment. It is quieter, more grounded, but no less effective. The language sounds different: I want to lead with presence. I want to create momentum. I want to think clearly and act decisively.

When you shift from need to want, the tone changes. Your system calms. Your leadership sharpens. You stop reacting and start choosing.

If this resonates, track your language this week. Where are you (and your team) using ‘need’ when you could say ‘want’? Try speaking it out loud and notice the difference in how you look, feel and sound saying the word. Then go further. Write down your top three fears for Q4. Flip each into a forward focused statement. For example:

Fear - we will miss target.
Focus - protect our top three strategic accounts.

Then choose one small action that reflects the shift. Make the call. Book the meeting. Safeguard the thinking time. These small, practical steps create momentum. They give you evidence that you are already moving.

Yes, Angels and Devils are abstract ideas. And yes, it may sound a little on the woo woo side. But I have used this framework for decades with senior marketers and leadership teams operating in high pressure environments. It works.

Because your energy state shapes your emotional state. Your emotional state drives how you think, how you lead, and how others experience you. This is not mindset for its own sake. It is a shift in how you operate, and it will be evident in how you close the year.